Today I cycled to work. This is a momentously shocking fact because:
- I had no intention of doing this 30 minutes earlier when I was under the duvet. Unfortunately I caught sight of my pregnant-looking belly – the result of another Tuesday night in the best curry house in the South Pennines – Syhibas in Sowerby Bridge. Pregnancy, even if its not real, is not a good look for a 50 year old confirmed spinster. It makes me uneasy. I am pretty much done with motherhood of any kind and I am spending my life counting down the days until my teenager leaves home and my bald cat dies so that I can be free of responsibilities and fly the nest. You might think I am cruel to have such murderous intentions towards my recently shaved cat – the reason for shaving is a long story which I won’t go into but rest assured it was a qualified vet that did it. You may wish to guffaw over the possibility for endless innuendo about a shaved cat….but this is a family blog and so all I have to say is that she is a twenty year old Yorkshire (not Brazilian) faithful feline who refuses to shuffle off her mortal coil and to laugh at her would be like laughing at a demented old lady…. so don’t do it….but I will include a photo so that you can not laugh.
- Anyhow I digress – I have to digress – I don’t do enough cycling to talk about cycling. The second reason I am shocked that I have cycled to work is that I spent the entire 30 days last year managing to find ingenious excuses for NOT cycling to work. Now that I’ve done it, I feel I have let myself down slightly and it’s all a bit of an anticlimax. This is because it is a mostly-downhill journey, which means to go home it is a mostly-uphill journey and I might have to have a word with Valley taxis to see if they have a bike rack handy. To be fair – it is quite an impressive downhill and the photo doesn’t really show the full horror of the steepness. As a novice I hate going downhill more than I hate going uphill. It terrifies me and I ride gibbering with fear, hands clasped tightly on both brakes. Sometime I find I am barely moving at all and it can be quite embarrassing when a pedestrian overtakes me. I don’t find that I have a need for speed in any shape or form – this might hamper my cycling career slightly.
So, I am back in the saddle. Yes yes, I know its day 8, but I was occupied underwater for the first few days of April and if you put a directional arrow between each of the following – dive centre, bar, flat, cycle hire shop – you will see my dilemma and understand why I never got round to hiring a bike. I did THINK about cycling a lot and waved my fins about in a cycling motion at every underwater opportunity. This made me fairly unpopular as its important NOT to wave fins about in cycling motions whilst diving wrecks, but I was thinking only of my pledge.
So – day 8 is my day 1. I do not think of this as failure to achieve the pledge of cycling for 30 days. I can still achieve this. As someone who smelt nice once said, “success is often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable” (Coco Chanel). I have pondered what she means by this but as I don’t smell that good now that I’ve cycled to work, I really haven’t got a clue….but it just seemed a superficially profound way to end today’s slightly random blog.